The saga of one lonely skeleton in Wenatchee

This is the story of Mort.
It was several years ago in Late September when I saw him for the first time at Costo. And at time I thought, OK, this is funny, maybe I should buy one. A 5 1/2 foot tall, mostly anatomically correct, plastic skeleton. Of course, I bought one, brought him back to the radio station unpacked him, And I thought, OK, now what do I do with him? (I don’t know why I assumed it was a him) 

It didn't take long to figure it out. It turned out I had a small Quake T-shirt that I had not yet given away, so I dressed him up, And the first thing I did was I put him in the control room at KW3 just down the hall from where I work.  

The next morning pay dirt, Connor. shows up in the morning for work, turns on the lights in his studio, and he freaks out.  

That was all it took. From that point on he took on a life of his own, and I named him Mort. (from a Terry Pratchett book) All through the month of October and actually early November I moved him all over the building, posing him in various locations. Then I started taking pictures and posting them on our Facebook page.  

At some point, other people in the building started to get in on the fun. Sometimes I would lose track of where Mort was until somebody told me he was hanging out in the bathroom or in another studio.  

One time one of my co-workers moved him into the restroom and posed him on the commode, I had no idea where he was until I heard the scream. 

Mort has been a fixture here in our building for years. And now the sad part of the story. A couple of weeks ago, Mort took a fall and broke his neck. We tried to fix him, but it wouldn't take. Then he fell off the shelf where he was sitting and broke his shoulder. I hate to say it, but I think Mort is beyond repair.  

So now the question is, what do we do with him? I asked the folks in the marketing department if they wanted... parts, no takers. I guess I could do what we do when the goldfish dies, you just go get another one, put them in the tank and don't tell the kids it's a new goldfish. Someone told me today that I might find one of his brothers at Home Depot. I think I may have to go take a look. It's only been a short while, but I really miss Mort already. 

I guess I'm off to Home Depot. Back from Home Depot, no joy, now I'm off to Lowes.