Ten Worst Cars for an Uber Ride
Picture this: It's a typical Friday or Saturday night and you and your significant other find yourselves in need of an Uber to get home after a long night on the town in the Wenatchee Valley.
Perhaps you planned it that way, perhaps you didn't. Who knows? Who cares? All you really know is your stomach and bladder are full; your feet are tired; and you might even be feeling a little squiffy depending on what you've been up to that evening. And you need a lift so you can get home and crawl into bed to sleep it all off.
So you dial up your ride and wait ten minutes, only to see a nightmare pull up to the curb and open its passenger side door(s) to beckon you inside.
Yes, the Uber driver you've summoned has a car that's truly horrific in one way, shape or form and you just know it's going to be a rough, bumpy, or downright uncomfortable ride home...if you even make there at all that is.
Although most Uber employees drive sedans, hatchbacks, and SUVs that would qualify as nothing more or less than totally mundane, there are a few eccentrics out there who make a their extra weekend bucks giving rides in something that probably shouldn't even be on the road at all.
And so today I offer you a list of the ten worst cars you could ever imagine being driven anywhere in...and pay for the ride on top of it all!
FORD FOCUS RS
Alright, if you're into that Fast & The Furious meets Runaway Ralph look, then this might seem like a pretty cool ride. But remember, you ain't gonna be cruising in a Cadillac next to its exterior to enjoy the view. Instead you'll be jammed into a compact sedan that's been consistently voted as one of the most uncomfortable cars in the world for over a decade now.
While comfort might not be the biggest issue here, the concern that you might break something in the Saturn Ion's interior just by breathing on or looking at it crossly enough is. These hunks of junk from the now defunct automaker were notorious for being less reliable than an Easy-Bake Oven with a burned out light bulb.
Any car that can make a Nissan Cube look like a Mercedes Benz is one to avoid riding in, and the Kia Picanto certainly qualifies. I mean seriously, could anything on four wheels ever look like it was manufactured more for the purposes of moving hamsters from place to place? Nuff said.
Needless to say, any vehicle that ever gained a reputation for bursting into flames when tapped with the head of a pin is one to stay away from. And the Ford Pinto is our lone qualifier from that category to make the list. You know what to do now...run!
Personally, I think the best thing about the AMC Pacer is that John Denver drove one while playing the part of Jerry Landers in the 1977 comedy Oh, God! And while this fish bowl on four wheels does offer a certain amount of nostalgia when used for an Uber ride, your chances of being shot at in traffic by road raging maniacs due to the "just because" factor is also rather high. Best to hail a cab. You'll probably have fewer bullet holes in you come the morning.
And to think, it's not even close to being big enough on the inside to hold even one of its animal namesake. Yeah, if you have testicles or any other sensitive body parts that don't like being pressed, pinched or otherwise stressed out, skip the Fiat Panda and just take the bus.
From the category of "are you f***ing kidding me" comes the one...and thankfully, the only, REVA G-Wiz. A car that not even Vern Troyer could have comfortably ridden in. If you happen to be a professional contortionist or you're green all over and your real name truly is Gumby, then you can count yourself among the only two groups of living beings that should ever see the inside of this deathtrap.
My sister had one of these way back when, so I know this short-lived bargain box quite well. And I can tell you from having to try and help her start it on many a morning - cold or otherwise - that the engine block is plastic. Yes, you heard me right...the frickin' engine block in a Yugo is made of plastic! Do I really need to say more? Seriously, if you walked you'd actually get there, eventually. But not if you took an Uber Yugo. In fact, the very notion of such a thing just made Henry Ford roll over in his grave more times than the two cars that bear his namesake from our list already have.
LE CAR (RENAULT)
It's short. It's ugly. And it breaks down before you even roll it out of the driveway. Now this certainly isn't how you'd want to describe yourself, so why have anything to do with a car that will treat you just the same. I say, just "Le Walk" instead!
BRIGGS & STRATTON FLYER
Granted this one is highly unlikely to roll up at the curb to pick you up...but hey, you just never know! Obviously the century-old Briggs & Stratton Flyer wouldn't even come close to qualifying as street legal in today's world. But if you just happen to be into that "I wanna make like Fred Flintstone's car on my way home" thing, then you can cross your fingers that this mostly-wooden contraption that's one notch down from Santa's sleigh shows up to give you a lift. The rest of us will just stay home or sleep at the bar if necessary.